Ok so right now I am sitting in my bedroom on my lappy. It's very cold and my baby finger has gone numb. I am actually so incredibly down at the moment. I feel like such loser, I have absoloutely nothing to motivate myself with! I actually think if I carry on the way I am I'll start sinking into some kind of depression. In the words of Damien Rice: "I can't take my mind of you, until I find somebody new" It's weird now. French is a bore, Geography has always been boring and I haven't even been brave enough to face a music lesson. It's like life after a hurricane. Like Bella living as if the whole Twilight Saga hadn't happened and she'd just bought some of the magic matchmaker's vamprollic-D potion and tranformed back into a human, then moved back in with Charlie and went off to Dartmouth university. It's weird. It's empty. I am such a drama queen. I don't think I've truly been myself since I actually uncovered the truth.
Well speaking of drama I've been up under the lights in a bright red pencil skirt spitting at the audience in my school play. It's fun but it's weird. We opened last night and it was alright though apparently it wasn't as good as the previous shows which is fair enough. This Callum boy my friend Amy is setting me up with wrote on my facebook wall a couple of days ago but I've been rushing about so much I only just saw it. I don't know whether to write back or not, I'm a bit of a freak. I feel so left out of everything at the moment and I can never ever manage to make myself look good. I feel uncomfortable going shopping and catching glimpses of myself in the mirrors. I'm going to go on a diet I think, that will probably giveme more energy and it might help my spots a bit as well.
Tomorrow I was meant to be going to Paul's to have a movie marathon but we've had a big fight today and for once I've managed not to retaliate and its just turned out worse, I managed to scratch him with a straw and nearly break his nose apparently. He spent the whole of French turning around and calling me a bitch through evil eyes which drove me mad. He also said I wwas pathetic doing sweeney todd and that was the last straw for me. I threw a french dictionary at him. It was his fault that fucking twat. So I'm not going to his anymore tomorrow, Georgia's meant to be comming to sleep over at mine tomorrow but I feel a bit weird around her like, she finds it all funny and that annoys me a bit though we have this strange relationship and I can't get angry at her really because that would just make things so awkawrd and horrible. I feel so lonely right now, my cat won't even come near me because I gave him an electric shock a second ago.
Oh Gaay.
